Stipulation

It's inevitable, life will always be filled with stipulations.

Don't do this, don't do that. Don't do without this unless you have that. People tend to make life more complicated than it already is.

Secretly Brilliant

Tonight some friends and I went to IHOP and just drank coffee and smoked (well they did the smoking). I started to scribble on a napkin and thought to myself, "I wonder what the most interesting scribbles have consisted of."

Now I know this is a bit of a "stoner" thought but just in its simplest form... genius's scribble. I'd like to see and know, where and what they wrote. It just fascinates me that such brilliant minds at some point just let their visions run wild and careless onto paper. I'd like to see what that looks like. I mean, when I think of scribbling, I think of it as a vision with no form, an idea with no thought, just intimate and far from structure.

Scribbling takes on a whole new persona.

The Darkness

Under the cover of night and many dark shadows we go out into the world as the nocturnal animals our habits have created us to be. The clanking silverware against the clay plates sent chills up your spine. You were quiet, holding your peace for a few moments more, then unleashed.

The dishes were cleaned, the apartment was vacuumed. I took out the trash, you made the bed. You locked up while I fetched the car. Two blocks down and to the left, three flights up and on the right. We drove miles away and with each mile, buried our past. I did not argue any longer. I had no energy. I did not know. I was blinded by naivety as you knew.

As I fall asleep I see our hide-out on Lamar. It's not far, but enough for you to get your mind off the people that hold you back. There's a psychedelic Jimi hovering over as you order the same as many times before. All I do is watch and smile. All I can do is watch and smile. The table between us is hardly what stops me. Your fear of others opinions pushes my back roughly up against the vintage 70's pleather. I am pinned by your vigilant thoughts of those around us.

Blind. We talk, we jest, we make it a pleasant moment for a difficult situation. I kiss you on your soft sensual lips and tear myself apart from you, leaving just a frayed edge. You retreat back to your forest of concrete and steel, the wolves are waiting. I leave but am alone. I am in darkness and alone.

Deliverance

[---] is whoever you want him to be, because apparently being me isn't neat. I don't know you. I don't know me. But every time I try, I get beat.

I want to be free, I want to be free, I want to be free.

But the words don't place themselves and the motions don't take control.

Society is cruel indeed. Love and trees are all I need.

Love love love and trees are all I need.

Keep me rooted in the organic, keep me far away from the panic.

All I need from you is to be my little growing liberty seed.

Love

The most universal language. It is spoken in every continent, beautiful in every form. Yet so few individuals succeed to articulate.

Love is a lost tongue in a fast world. It takes a slow tongue to speak to the world.

Until we learn to speak with clarity, I shall pray for our posterity.

I Thought About What You Said

I've decided to leave it all behind, as a testament. I will still capture these moments in life for history, as you said we are to do, I will just do it with other tools.

I am leaving this behind to show that this is not being done selfishly. It is being done as everyone has a time to move and a time to settle. Inside you will find many hidden and well kept secrets. Some will be secret gardens, others will be limbo. I am who I am.

I have scars and I have beauty marks, all imperfections, all perceived differently. I ask that you listen for a moment. Explore what I have left for you to find. I hope you find much more than what you see.

Wants and Needs

As it is clearly known, wants and needs are broadly different. 

However, sometimes I feel that my wants often become my needs... or at least provide the essentials for my needs. But now that I think of it... what defines a need?

Then - it was food, shelter, and companionship.

Now - not much has changed.

Often times we forget our most crucial needs... which are our mental necessities. We must feel that we are in control of our minds, that we have self-esteem, that we are loved, and that we, both physically and mentally, feel safe.

I really don't know where I'm going with this... but I guess if all those needs are met by something that I want then... I should really get that thing. Ok then, it's settled... I'm getting a motorcycle, iPhone, tattoo, Into the Wild, and Fight Club. Right now in my life, that's all I really feel I need to want.