I want that secret someone. I want that girl I can't stand to be away. I want to come home to my apartment, take off my shoes, drop the weight of the world and lay next to her. I want to wake up knowing she stayed near me while I dreamt. Her presence alone guards off my fears.
The more I live, the less I see this coming true. It seems every month my hopes get more and more faint. I get close to a girl with optimism of a different outcome and am disappointed with the same.
I want to give up. I feel foolish for expecting something different. I want it to rain. I want the world to go grey and leave me alone in my bed. I want sleep to drown me if I could only close my eyes.