Rough Waters

Paddle.
Keep paddling.
The waves will rise and they will fall.
My spirit goes up and down.
It's a fluid cycle.
Up and down.
Where one ends, the other begins.

Paddle.
Keep paddling.
The ache in my back begs me to stop.
I fight the wind.
I fight the waves.
I fight my mind in all its ways.

My surroundings always change,
making new pictures for me to frame.
She's a wild one but gets me where I need to be.

Resignation

Hey,

Thank you for being honest with me... yet again. haha That's all I could ever ask of you. I can't say I understand, I don't know why God would give me these feelings. I just have to put my faith in The One who does understand.

Watching you grow as a Christian over the years has helped me renew and strengthen my faith in God. I had my heart broken by a girl 6 years ago and I let that affect my walk.

My heart was very bitter and I held on to that pain for a very long time.

You have the love of God shining through you. God, though you, has taught me much more about humility and selflessness.

God still has lots of heart issues to work out of me but I am willing.
I know as long as I am willing, I cannot fail.

I want you to know that I care about you so much it hurts. I don't mean that figuratively. It hurts the venerable soft parts inside, not like a bump or cut that passes in a week or month.

Love and blessings always,

Sam

The Torture of Silence

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, silence must make it wander.

The ambiguity leaves the heart to torture itself.

No "Yes"
No "No"

No "I love you" or "...hate you"

Just... silence.

Should I stay or should I go?
Don't you like me?
Because I don't know.

Some days are cold
Some days are warm
But the silence is old.

Friend or foe?
I just don't know with all that silence.

Fall Fire

The season's changing,
days grow shorter,
the last leaves fading.

Pumpkin parties,
with lots of pumpkin carving,
and bags full of candies.

Friends...
Family...
gather together around a fire.

Unrequited

One day I'll kiss you,
walk right up and plant one on you.
I'm not sure what you would do,
Whether you'd slap me or be happy.

I've been so patient, it hasn't been easy.
I'm love sick and it's making me queasy.

I scream in my head, "NOTICE ME, NOTICE ME!"
Night after night I think I can't get much sadder,
I know so much about you but it doesn't much matter.
I fear you've already decided,
my love for you is unrequited.

Lonesome Tired

I know that sinking sadness of guilt and madness,
She said she doesn't like me,
I can't decide if I'm miserable or free.
Everything inside me says "hold on",
But I tell myself the battle can never be won.

To make me feel better, kind words were all she said,
like patting a toddler gently on the head.
"You're a great guy", "It's not you, it's me."
I've heard those words, unfortunately.

I truly feel, my Juliet, rejected.
Like there's no place for hope.
I tried and waters have been tested,
but still, I leave a lonely dope.

My heart on a platter...
Somehow that makes them run faster.

Simple Plans

I smile at you, you smile at me.
You're my angel on earth, God planned it since birth.

You're kind and gentle; not overly sentimental.

I whisper so you draw near, and even delight in the quaintness of your ear.

Every wish that's thrown in a fountain, I make for us to live on a mountain...

Or a pond or a lake, anywhere with you, I would take.

You see, I can not place it, not the time or the day,

but I've fallen for you in every single way.

At 24

At 24 

with a heart of foam,

And legs to roam,

I find myself steady in the stand I ground.

When I was younger,

My eyes saw wonder,

My feet left the start before I even heard the gun sound.

Now I never forget, no, my memories don't escape me.

I hold on to my drive, my diligence, my determination, see.

Coke

You're my sweet Coca-Cola.
I think about you all the time.
If only I had a dime.
I'd come up with something to rhyme.

You're what I crave.
Night after night, I slave.
Working on myself.
Not worrying about my wealth.

I fall apart,
putting back the pieces to my heart.

Replacing all my doubt
with "it's what life's about".

Sticky, licky, sugar.

Letting Go

I save your name in my mind for all my life.
It may be in vain to wait for you to be my wife.

I tell myself I'm obsessed,
just to close my eyes and rest,
and that it's for the best.
But deep down I never gave up.

I tell myself I am only hurting me.
By holding on, I'm not setting myself free.
In the end I'll be left battered,
my heart, like glass, gets shattered.

I'm not afraid to let go like a child.
I know I'm strong and wild.
I care a lot, at times, to a fault.

Since I was born, I knew how to love.
This zeal is nothing to fear, it was sent from above.

Familiar Feelings

I'm feeling down,
but not on the ground.
Love makes me float,
then becomes the weight I tote.

I find a friend I like,
we do fun things,
kayak, fly kites, and bike.

She makes me happy
and not so lazy.

I wish I could do the same,
but everything I say gets stained.
She's a girl I'd share my name,
but everything I say gets swayed.

She makes me feel immature,
which makes me feel insecure,
which makes me feel small and out of control.

Se La Vi

What makes a person run from someone they like?

Can it be boiled down to a simple answer?

A man likes a woman. That woman is interested in that man. But if he shows too much attention to her, the woman becomes disinterested.

I remember hearing of much simpler times growing up.

A man likes a woman. He stops all his plans, goes to work to provide for her, they get married and have seven kids.

Modern day women seem to play a game of disregard. Granted, the game of "cat and mouse" has been around for centuries, these women truly seem to want what they can't have and throw away what they can.

How does time continue to complicate and simplify life at the same time?

Sol

I have nothing to say at this juncture other than
the sun has an amazing ability to fill my soul sometimes.

Leap Day

Leap day,
Sleep day,
Wish I was, with a girl, day.

Stretch out, pass out,
Stretch again, count to ten,

I'm up, I'm walking,
Blinds up, I'm talking,

Doing chores, vacuuming floors,
Getting dressed, getting stressed,

Need to break the monotony,
Need to set my life free.

"Us"

Some day, I'm going to marry you,
And teach you all my bad ways,
And you'll help me on my bad days,
And I'll get you out of your sad phase,

Because we belong together,
We'll grow strong together,
We'll take trips,
We'll sync lips,

We'll mesh like wire
Unconventional,
Unintentional,
Understanding fire,

Serendipitous,
Inconspicuous,
The one and only "us" to trust.

2012 Woman

My voice is quivering as I try to be a man.
I stumble through the door to who I am.
The clothes I wear are bare, lacking color or flare.
I'm honest and open like a book in your hands.
Please, I pray, you listen to my plans.
We can go find a place far away,
with rivers,
with mountains,
where our children can play.
Our life will be lived a humble way.
We will give thanks for our food and pray everyday.