2009

This year, I got just a little bit closer to understanding love, as impossible as that may be. I finally saw a heart up close. I felt it. It was warm and soothing to feel the beats. They are such fragile things with the power of a double edged sword.

Lately I've been at a loss for words. I think this is because this year has challenged almost all my previous perceptions of love. The point is, I'm 22 and learning. I've never been married. I'm not 100 years old with wisdom of a saint. I'm a young man with the free will to love whoever I choose. I avoid heartbreak as much as possible, I kiss when kissed, I think before speaking, I forget, I remember, I mess up, I make up, I admit, I love. My heart used to sit on my sleeve. It's a little harder to do these days.

I learned that no matter how pure and honest your intentions are, the world can manipulate and misconstrue every step of the way. And all I can do is walk away. People will believe what they want to believe. Life will go on. Days will get cloudy, but the storm will pass.